Don't go to bed mad at each other.

Isn't the idea of resolving things before you go to bed a great, unrealistic one. In the middle of your everyday, cool-headed thinking it is easy to agree that going to bed angry is a miserable thing to do to each other.  You decide a mutual give-and-take (I avoid the word compromise because of his disdain for the word) should be implemented to assure both parties can sleep well and wake up happy to see each other.

Why, therefore, in the midst of your hot-headed debate can you fail to agree, even to disagree.  The task of getting along is so far out of reach that you cannot hope to find the time to look for it as you block the accusations or word-plays being hurled at you. Even if you can stop to catch your breath to look for that hope of some sort of truce, it is nowhere to be found. You can’t find it, you don’t have all night to look for it with the back-and-fourth and circles you are running in with no avail.  Where does that peace go? You know it’s somewhere because you have built it together, agreeing on how to set it up for just such a circumstance, the circumstance where you need some sort of loving agreement to fall back on. It might as well be behind a cloud over the Indian Ocean.

Or is this not an issue with these people that even put the idea in my head? Do they have it figured out? Is their safety net always where they left it and does it catch them and carry them happily to sleep? If so, what is our flaw? Is this what they call stubbornness? If this is in fact the barrier of our nocturnal harmony is it something that can be worked out or is this simply no foundation to build a net upon?  If neither of us will budge when we are so far apart, how will our net ever meet in the middle?  Should I be worried or hopeful?

If, in the morning, we can forget about our failed attempts at peace, was peace made after all? Or was our failure another chip on a stack of an unsteady pile, threatening to fall over because nothing was ever put together successfully or in the loving, tender way it needed. 

Are we hopeless? Are we unique? Are we stubborn? Giving up isn’t a matter of common sense so we will have to see if that pile is as unsteady as it sometimes appears or if it can withstand the chips we seem to carelessly pile on top.